so they're requiring us to take this course in ateneo.. Introduction to Ateneo Culture and Tradition. it's all well and good. hoorah for the ateneo spirit and all, but i wish they'd get better facilitators. you know, people who actually seem like they give a damn about the school and it's traditions. our facis suck beans. they're so "motivating" and "inspiring". haha. they make you wanna start being apathetic smokers who are just on this planet to bitch about everything.

wah. angst.

on a lighter note, soccer is hella cool! my leg muscles and tendons and hamstrings are crying, but i can't wait to put on my spikes to play again. and my stamina is getting much better. i can actually last through a 45 minute game now. woohoo. :)

and lit class is cool. our teacher makes us think and criticize things and try to understand things from a way deeper perspective. i like it. i like thinking. it's so stimulating and challenging. am i thinking out loud? cool.

that's totally my word for the day. cool. oh, you know what else is cool? i'm wearing james' manchester united football club jacket with his name and number on the back today. people keep asking if a james plays for england. funny. but i feel like a total jock in the jacket (maybe cause it's a jock's jacket... whatever) and it's so cool. it feels way cool. :)

so yeah. i'm at that point in the week where i either reach the pinnacle of my energy, or go downhill starting now.. so i'll just have to see which direction it's gonna go. later. :)

 

so guess where i am.

i bet you can't see me.

i bet you can't hear me.

do you know where i am?

 

okay. just a bit of freeform feeling-ko-artist-ako poetry.

i've been feeling like i've got a lot of repressed emotions lately. you know, like i'm about to burst, but i don't know why. damn this hormonal teenager-y stuff. fourth week of college life, and it feels like i've been here forever. it's cool i guess. we've all pretty much settled in. :)

i miss csa loads though. i miss how everything was so easy and so accessible then. now, everything takes effort. even having a boyfriend. we both need to go the extra mile to keep things going smoothly. and it's hard. really hard. specially when the effort is coming from only one side.

on the upside, i've found an outlet. a really awesome outlet. made it to the soccer team! okay.. it's team b.. but soccer team with jersey and jacket nonetheless!! it's so awesome! i'm bruised and sore and it feels so exhilarating. i'm finally putting these arms and legs to work.

now to find an intellectual stimulator. i think it's time i signed up for ads. yeah yeah, finally caved in. i thought about it long and hard, and i wouldn't be betraying anyone (wrong choice of words, i think) by joining. nor would it just be a "sayang kung hindi" type of thing. i'm joining because i love debate. i love the thought of thinking on my toes and trying my darndest to reach a compromise in this world full of stubborn headed monkeys. i love the seven minute adrenaline rush that transcends being tired or hungry or fed up with your day. i want to remember how it felt to be with my teammates in canadia. i want to feel like that first time in shs with pecto and bobby as our adj. i want to keep debating.

so emotional. i hate it. it's so girly. and it's only monday. sheesh.

it's funny.

i haven't blogged in like, a year? or more than 7 months, at the very least. here i am again, though. i'm following the footsteps of many a college freshman before me. i need an outlet.. a silent somewhere where i can effectively rid myself of all the repressed emotion inside of me.

here i am again, college freshman at atneo, feeling a bit odd... feeling like i'm suspended mid way between high school and college... and the feeling kinda sucks. okay, it sucks big time.

today was okay. not monumentally great, but bearable. the morning was a bit surreal though. i spent like an hour chatting with mahar about college plans and org stuff. i wonder if i'll really join ads. my head says yes, cause it would be a waste if i let debate stagnate, but my heart cries betrayal, and a resounding no. that whole moring ended so strangely, cause after a while, chars joined in and as she was leaving, she hugged me. that was kinda odd. strange. i was hugged by the girl who freaked me out some three years ago at my first invitational. aside from the morning though, i made all my classes, recited heavily in each one, and even got some reading done. the heat killed me though. i was practically melting. this coming from someone in a mini skirt. sheesh. i'd definitely have fainted if i were in pants.

this is fun. maybe i'll keep blogging. :)

You're Element is Light. You are friendly, happy,
social, bubbly, and can brighten up any one's
day. You are very kind and a real people person
because you have several friends (or atleast
should). You're cheery nature makes you lovable
and your stunning looks are sweet and stand
out.


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fun. i've been on hiatus for forever. im not quite ready to write yet.. perhaps tomorrow. ;p

just finished measuring bleeding newspapers for the NFD today... i smell of newsprint. eeew. the HS made 27,000 though. not bad for two weeks.

i also attempted to submit my ateneo application today... only to realize my parent's signature was missing... i don't know how i could've missed it! but since colleges put such a premium on parental consent... i've got to somehow find a way to get my *** to ateneo AGAIN tomorrow.

this is my first time to blog in like, 2 weeks. i've officially broken my promise to katz and nico. oh well. that's not the only thing that i broke...

i feel as if i'm completely to blame for CSA's default in the asian parliamentary format of the CMLI Debate Tourney. My time schedule could have been earlier, and my calculation of the traffic could have been more accurate... but nooooo. traffic had to be horrendous, opponents had to be a**holic, and drivers had to be extra super slow. wah. bitchy much. i feel so bad. so bad. i'd love to say "bawi nalang sa or-ox"... but that'll never equate to the missed chance at asians. to top all that off, i feel like i've let nico and katz and sha and mico and bianx down in one fell swoop. to describe the immense emotions, i can't even eat anymore. wah. i need a hug.

whatever. babawi kami sa or-ox.

on the upside there is at this point, not reading your blog for a long time makes reading the good stuff even better. my tummy may be empty, and my brain may be racing, but my heart finds solace in flamingo. the half-date will last me more that one week's happiness.

and katz, i wanted to tell you, but we were all on business mode then, and i had hoped to tell you after, but you left, and left my story and your gray pouch in the process. wah. girly details soon. ;p

i miss my old-time friends. saw eloi the other day... i missed her. there aren't very many people left like nico, katz, eloi, pecto, bianx, mico, sha.... and all the other debate-chorale buddies of 2003. i miss them separately and collectively. i miss boobie. i miss my old-time friends.

that's it really. that's my week in a big bundle. oh, and yeah, it's only monday.